Some good...some bad

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for my ultrasound to see how baby girl is growing. I am always a little nervous to have an ultrasound because I am terrified of bad news. But...she was very active and my tummy is growing at an alarming rate, so that made me feel like everything would be okay...and it was. She weighs in at approximately 3 lbs 9 oz and everything looked great. With another DVD in hand, I then waited to see the doctor for my weekly appointment...that is when things got bad.
He reviewed my ultrasound, blood pressure, urine, etc and was very pleased with my progress. He asked me the normal, "are you having any contractions or bleeding," questions to which I answered, "no." I actually felt great and I have been sleeping fine. Then I mentioned one symptom that you can only appreciate if you have been pregnant, so I won't go into any detail. His response was that he had better check me to make sure my cervix was still long, thick, and closed and that my cerclage was holding up. I agreed and was totally unprepared for what he told me next...
I am 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated...I instantly cried because I knew what that meant...bedrest and round the clock help.
He told me that if I didn't have my cerclage, I wouldn't be pregnant. That really hit me hard because my high risk doctor in Lexington told me that he felt like I didn't need a cerclage this time (mainly because I delivered an 8 lb baby 3 days before his due date with NO bedrest just 18 months ago), but Matt and I made the decision to get one anyway...just in case. Thank goodness!
So now, with a husband in Texas, a 3 year old, and an 18 month old, I am on bedrest until week 36 when my cerclage will be removed. I just feel terrible that I have to rely on so many people to keep things going. My mom and Matt's mom have gathered the troops and everyone is being fantastic about helping out. I am so lucky to have such a great support system. The only thing, other than the lying down ALL DAY LONG thing that gets to me is that I have to learn how to parent from the sidelines...that's tough. So for now, I am still pregnant, on medication to stop contractions that I don't feel, and hoping to make it just 4 short weeks. If I go into labor before my 36th week my doctor said that I would be airlifted to Lexington. So my short term goal is to make it to Saturday (32 weeks), when preemies tend to do well. My long term goal is to make it to July 20th for my cerclage removal. Just pray that the 'ol cervix can hold up that long.